Calamity by Lexi Barr

Author:Lexi Barr [Barr, Lexi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: By Lexi Barr
Published: 2018-12-12T16:00:00+00:00

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I woke up to darkness, my chest heaving in another panic attack. The memory had returned to my dreams and twisted them into nightmares, reminding me I was never too far from my fears. The bed shifted, sending a terrifying chill down my spine before I saw the glint of his eyes, sleepy concern etched across his face. We didn’t speak. I simply leaned in toward him and placed my lips against his in a tired kiss, thanking him for everything. As always, he reciprocated without restraint.

Frustration took over me as a thought entered my mind. I wanted Liam so desperately, and I allowed Cooper to get in the way of having him. The only way I would ever get past what he did to me would be to push through the fear and allow Liam to replace the negative memories with good ones. This night wasn’t just about us making love for the first time. It was about me taking the first real steps in my healing process and breaking through the barriers I had put up the night I was attacked by Cooper.

I couldn’t let my rape define me. I was sure there were far more productive ways to getting past it. Therapy, for one, you crazy bitch, I thought. But I was stuck on getting what I so desperately craved that night: closeness to the man I was falling for. I’d remain unhinged until I found it.

He was hesitant at first, not allowing me to take our kiss further than we had just hours before. My temporary insanity wasn’t having that, so I greedily reached between us and grabbed his length in my hand, stroking it with the newfound confidence I was floating on.

Liam hissed out a breath, pulling his mouth from mine as he rasped, “I told you, we don’t have to do this tonight, Luna. I’ll wait as long it takes for you to be comfortable.”

Shifting our bodies so I could lift my leg over his and straddle his lap, I shook my head against his lips, still gripping him in my hand.

“I want this. Tonight. And I don’t want to let anything get in the way anymore. If you’re willing to help me through it, I want to take this step with you.”

That was all it took for his restraint to dissolve, and his lips were back on mine. Diving in head first, we reentered the cloud of lust we had fallen into before, only this time, I was fighting harder than ever to keep Cooper and everyone else out of it.

I lifted my body off his and stood up on the mattress on my knees, struggling awkwardly to finish what we had started earlier and pull my underwear down. Liam jumped in to help, reaching over with expert hands and swiping them off without any problems. Anxiety swept in again, reminding me of his experience and making me feel conscious of my lack thereof. I roughly pushed it away, swallowing down any self-doubt and insecurities.

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